The Expectations Trap

     It is now April! Did you make any New Year's resolutions? How are you doing on them if you did make a few? 

    One pattern I have noticed in my life and others' as well, is that oftentimes before we make a dramatic change, we might set a goal or have some expectation of what we want the results to be. Then after maybe two weeks or so of falling short of our goal or expectations, we slowly revert back to how we were previously doing things. 

    Let's take a diet for example. You want to lose 20 pounds, so you decide to do intermittent fasting and cut out all soda and sugary drinks. After two weeks of pretty rigorously of sticking with the diet you find you've only lost four pounds. So you slowly start cheating on the diet, and exercising less. Maybe a few weeks go by, you step on the scale again and find now you're four pounds heavier then when you started. A lot of people may then just give up, find a new goal and repeat the process over again, making little to no progress and maybe even losing ground in some areas. How can we avoid that? 

   Firstly, remember how much time and work you have already put in to something. If the task or goal is worth accomplishing, then just think about how it would feel for you to have wasted all the time you have already dedicated to it. Secondly, remember why you are doing what you are doing. If you have a good reason for wanting to accomplish something, it makes it easier to justify the effort you are putting in. Thirdly, remember that all things take time. Success does not happen overnight. In any process there will naturally be spikes, falls, and plateaus. Do not be discouraged when after initially gaining ground your progress plateaus. Those are the times when you need to redouble your efforts and push harder. The next breakthrough or milestone may be just around the corner and you just need to put your head down and keep going. 

   Another major thing you can do to make sure you continue to work towards your goal after facing difficulties is to manage expectations. Success does not happen overnight. Is it really realistic to lose 20 pounds in two months? Even if you did lose that much weight in two months, would you be able to keep it off? Success is a process. As long as you are putting in time and effort towards your goals, you are making progress. Instead of focusing on how far you still have to go, focus on how much progress you have already made. Making changes is hard. Oftentimes, it requires changing how you think about the problem in order to achieve what you want to achieve.

  These are just some of my thoughts on how to think about self-improvement. Let me know what you think and if this was helpful to you.